- Parent to child at the library: Shhh...remember what we said about being loud in the library?
- Child: We'll wake up the books.
- Parent: That's right.
While evolutionary psychology suggests that women pass on casual sex due to an inherent lack of sexual desire, Conley says there’s an entirely different reason. She posits that women say “thanks, but no thanks” for fear of being judged. She also says that women have serious reservations about whether a one-night stand would be enjoyable with a new partner. She tries to explain to men, “The reason women are turning you down for casual sex seems to be that, for one thing, a lot of you are calling them sluts afterward.” Also, “A lot of you aren’t bothering to try to be good in bed.” Preach.
I was reading about this a few days ago and wasn’t sure where to start. Like, women turn down casual sex with a total stranger and the immediate conclusion is that they just aren’t interested in sex, period??? Really??? I mean, there’s the idea of being judged for having sex with a total stranger, there’s the fact that it might not be very good, and there’s, I don’t know, the fact that this stranger could plan to leave you for dead in a ditch. Nah, it must be because women just don’t want to have sex. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.
I read this article about how women orgasm less during casual hookups, and there was a quote from a guy who admitted he ‘tried less hard’ to make sure women enjoyed sex with him when he didn’t have feelings for them. Too much work, otherwise..
Which seems innocuous on the surface, I guess, but when you think about it… this guy (and presumably others) gets the same enjoyment out of sex either way, gets to expect to get off and get what he wants with every hookup, but he doesn’t think women inherently deserve satisfaction from those same encounters.
What do they think is in it for us? Like, what is essentially broken in straight dudes’ brains that they think their own pleasure is some great gift and ours is just a bonus that happens if they decide we’re worth the effort??
with Ed. M, Ph.D Jackson Katz
Same for mass shootings which are almost entirely done by white males.
If it was done by, literally, ANYONE ELSE of any other race or gender, I can’t even IMAGINE the shit that would be said by people.
I read somewhere, someone had this theory that the reason shootings are mainly committed by white males is because when women or poc feel alienated, depressed, etc, we are trained to keep it to ourselves, whereas white men are raised with a sense of entitlement that allows them to make their own problems everyone’s problem.
I wonder if it is true for shooting or for road rage or both or neither.
This is a really good documentary.